On a festive day during carnival 13 year to the day after Emiliano Montresors (Montresor from The Cask Of Amontillado) beloved friend Fortunato went missing. There was a 14 year old girl called Alba she was Emilianos daughter. Even though it was carnival Alba was in her room having Emilianos read her a book to fall asleep. "The End, okay Alba I am going to head out to carnival do not sneak out and go carnival with your friends is a dangerous place for a young girl". Come one dad you never let me go anywhere during carnival" "And there is a good reason for that" Montresor said as he walked out the front door and headed to were all the excitement is.
"He never lets me go anywhere during carnival. All my friends are going why cant I just go". As Alba walked from her room into a Beautiful room that had amazing paintings on the sealing exquisite stained glass everywhere and one large painting of her dad herself and her mom. She was never able to meat her because she died of an illness a year after Alba was born. After thinking of her mom Alba all of the sudden got sleepy so she headed up to her room were she had an amazing view of carnival. "Wow look at all of those colors" Alba thought to herself. Alba then drifted of to sleep starring at the brilliant lights coming from carnival. At the end of the first day of carnival Emiliano got back home and immediately ran up to Albas room to make sure she was there but to his was surprise she was not there. When he got up to her room he herd a loud crash Emilianos ran down stairs and to his horror he saw his daughter trying to get into his wine cellular which has been locked up for years.
As Emiliano looked at his daughter he could tell she did't know what she was doing. When Alba saw her father she let out a blood curtailing scream that would fill fear into even the hardest man. Then Alba collapsed onto the group and was unconscious for an hour until she finally woke up. "Are you okay dear" " Yes dad I am fine but I did want to tell you something what did happen to Fortunato 13 years ago?" "Nothing sweaty just" "stop lying to me! I want to know the truth please just tell me" "Okay but first I have to tell you why I did it".
Well here we go it was a warm festive night today 14 years ago to this day when you were about one year old your mother and I went to carnival with Fortunato to go get a drink. But after a couple of hours of drinking and partying Fortunato lost control unexpectedly probably because of drinking. When we tried to calm him down he nocked me out cold and when I woke up your mother was gone. I was looking for your mother all night and when I finally found her she had been murder in Fortunato's Wine vault. I did't inform the police because I wanted to avenge your mother, I wanted to kill Fortunato the way he killed your mother." That is why I decided to kill him on the day he killed your mother and that is also why I decided to kill him in a wine vault but instead of killing him in his vault I killed him in the vault you are standing above right now. "Dad I don't feel to good right now I think I should go back to bed". Thats okay sweaty what ever you need". As Emiliano walked back to his room after putting Alba to sleep he quietly fell asleep until he heard a crash like glass breaking. He ran to Albas room and to see his daughter in some kind of trance walk out the window and plummet 10 stories down onto the concrete.
"He never lets me go anywhere during carnival. All my friends are going why cant I just go". As Alba walked from her room into a Beautiful room that had amazing paintings on the sealing exquisite stained glass everywhere and one large painting of her dad herself and her mom. She was never able to meat her because she died of an illness a year after Alba was born. After thinking of her mom Alba all of the sudden got sleepy so she headed up to her room were she had an amazing view of carnival. "Wow look at all of those colors" Alba thought to herself. Alba then drifted of to sleep starring at the brilliant lights coming from carnival. At the end of the first day of carnival Emiliano got back home and immediately ran up to Albas room to make sure she was there but to his was surprise she was not there. When he got up to her room he herd a loud crash Emilianos ran down stairs and to his horror he saw his daughter trying to get into his wine cellular which has been locked up for years.
As Emiliano looked at his daughter he could tell she did't know what she was doing. When Alba saw her father she let out a blood curtailing scream that would fill fear into even the hardest man. Then Alba collapsed onto the group and was unconscious for an hour until she finally woke up. "Are you okay dear" " Yes dad I am fine but I did want to tell you something what did happen to Fortunato 13 years ago?" "Nothing sweaty just" "stop lying to me! I want to know the truth please just tell me" "Okay but first I have to tell you why I did it".
Well here we go it was a warm festive night today 14 years ago to this day when you were about one year old your mother and I went to carnival with Fortunato to go get a drink. But after a couple of hours of drinking and partying Fortunato lost control unexpectedly probably because of drinking. When we tried to calm him down he nocked me out cold and when I woke up your mother was gone. I was looking for your mother all night and when I finally found her she had been murder in Fortunato's Wine vault. I did't inform the police because I wanted to avenge your mother, I wanted to kill Fortunato the way he killed your mother." That is why I decided to kill him on the day he killed your mother and that is also why I decided to kill him in a wine vault but instead of killing him in his vault I killed him in the vault you are standing above right now. "Dad I don't feel to good right now I think I should go back to bed". Thats okay sweaty what ever you need". As Emiliano walked back to his room after putting Alba to sleep he quietly fell asleep until he heard a crash like glass breaking. He ran to Albas room and to see his daughter in some kind of trance walk out the window and plummet 10 stories down onto the concrete.
Really creative! I enjoyed reading it and seeing what you came up with. The thing with the wife really took me by surprise and what a great ending! It's like the spirit of Fortunato was getting his revenge in the end! ;)
ReplyDeleteWow that is really interesting. I enjoyed reading your story! Great word choice too!
ReplyDeleteI loved how you added in the mother as a part of the whole story. I really loved your creativity with this piece. Nice work!
ReplyDeleteHow would Alba have known about Fortunato if she was merely a year old when her father killed him?
ReplyDeleteYour plot line is great! Some grammatical errors but I loved how you incorporated the family into this.
ReplyDeleteInteresting ending. You told me that you were having Montresor's daughter in it, but never thought it would end like that. I have one problem with this story, it's a common mistake, but you put "sweaty" not "sweetie". Other than that it was a great narrative.
ReplyDeleteGabe,
ReplyDeleteI don't exactly know how to begin my feelings on your story. One thing for sure, it was interesting take that I'm sure not many thought of. By implementing the change in time and the entire family matter you were able to change the entire idea behind the story. It was no longer just a man seeking revenge, it showed the side effects of taking revenge. It was, in my opinion, truly brilliant.
Ok I was not ready for that ending. I thought the daughter was going to hate her father for killing a man, not jump out a window and die. That was really unexpected. Good job though! Even if you did have some grammar errors, it was still pretty creative!
ReplyDeleteGreat blog. I liked how you made the setting during carnival. I also liked how you told that Montresor told his daughter her mother died from illness but Fortunado actually killed her.
ReplyDeleteVery interesting plot line! First - How did his daughter know about Fortunato dying? Secondly, please go back and fix your grammatical errors.
ReplyDelete